May 21

I have to write this short post just to get off my chest this increasingly frequent experience that really pisses me off!

Just the other day I was driving along when I came across this amazing type of idiot. There are many different types of idiot when it comes to car travel, but this one was of the sort who are either a) scared to use their brake, b) doesn’t even know it exists, c) is just a total bastard determined to ruin my day and ultimately my life, or d) all three. I generally stick with “d”, because as is the case in this situation you experience a “the world is out to get me” moment.

As I’m driving along, he consistently slows down at every bend, oncoming car, junction, straight, cow, EVERYTHING! And never with the brake! After 15 minutes of this, even an emergency stop would have been nice just to add a bit of excitement to my journey. But no, it was the agonizing, painful, and long-winded journey to – STOP.

I began to wonder at this point whether he actually realised that he had a brake, was scared of it, or wanted to ruin my life. (Back to my list at the start!). If a child had run out in front of him, would he just have taken his foot off the brake and slowly rolled over them? Or would they be too busy looking at the cows to notice.

And this brings me to my final thought. I will not deny, it is a dreadful thing to think or even imagine, and in retrospect I am horrified to have thought it, but, in this moment, after being stuck behind him for 30 minutes in winding country roads, I began to fantasize, and dare I say it, hope that one day, when driving along at 60, maybe even 70mph, this person would realise the big pedal next to the accelerator, and in the excitement of his discovery would step hard on it to see how it works…… preferably without a seatbelt.