December 1

Before I begin, I need to shout out in big letters that this article will be a SPOILER of “Dead Rising 2″, “Resident Evil: Code Veronica” and the “Left for Dead” series, so if you don’t want to know the story of the games or their endings then STOP READING NOW!!! I just want to make this clear now because you always get one fucking muppet who doesn’t want to know the endings and yet reads past the massive word SPOILER all the way to the end of the article before writing a sarcastic but blatantly thick comment, such as “Thanks for ruining the ending! You could have warned people that this was a spoiler!” Ultimately, they are the ones that look like idiots for ignoring the countless big, bold SPOILERS at the start and for carrying on reading when it’s blatantly fucking clear that the article is a detail of the plot. So just to make it clear in case any one of that nature ventures onto my blog, let this be warning to you that this is a SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER!!

So let’s get started! First I’m going to talk about “Dead Rising 2″ which my boyfriend and I completed recently. We were pretty fucking desperate to kill some zombies and as I had played and enjoyed first game I thought it was a good place to start. Just like the first one, “Dead Rising 2″ really doesn’t take itself too seriously! There are some cheesy cut-scenes of Chuck (our protagonist) creating some crazy, gory, combo, zombie-killer weapon which is pretty funny to watch. Not only that, but you can also create some of the most gruesome combo weapons ever, enabling you to do disgusting things such as saw the zombies in half. Our favourite was the simple but efficient baseball bat with nails. It definitely gets the job done!

The map of “Dead Rising 2″ is pretty good also, with lots of rooms to explore and lots of weapons to discover along the way. Not only that, but you will also have the pleasure (or sometimes bad luck!) of coming across survivors along the way. Then, you ultimately have the choice to kill them yourself, leave them to be the next meal for the zombies, or bring them with you to the safe room. My boyfriend and I were nice enough to try and save as many as we could although sometimes you have to choose who you can and can’t save depending how far they are from the safe room and how long you have until you have to return to the safe room for a new mission/chapter.

One of the funnest but scariest things about the game is when you come across the psychopaths in the mall. Unfortunately, there isn’t really much chance of knowing which places have normal, friendly survivors and which have people just waiting to kill you! Not only that, but the fact that our protagonist is being blamed for letting the zombies in doesn’t help! Some of the psycho’s are incredibly hard to beat and some are actually quite scary! Luckily though, your hard work pays off as after you defeat them they all seem to die a horrible death, such as being literally split in two! It’s nice when justice really is on your side!

As time goes on in the game more and more zombies start to fill the mall making it incredibly difficult to move yourself around the mall without being attacked by zombies! Even worse than that is the fact that near the end of the game a new mutated form of zombie appear due to some kind of gas being released. This makes them move faster than other zombies and if they spit on you it prevents you from moving for a few seconds. These ones really made us stressed with me having to tell my boyfriend where they were so they could avoid them!

Aside from this you also have the ongoing task of collecting “Zombrex”, a drug that prevents people from turning into zombies once bitten. Chuck’s daughter needs it every 24 hours (she was bitten before the start of the game) and you are stuck in the mall for around 72 hours before rescue. Sometimes finding Zombrex can de difficult so my boyfriend and I went around the casino smashing up all the ATM’s and stealing the money until we had enough to buy it! I don’t know really what happens if you don’t bring his daughter the Zombrex….. maybe it’s game over or perhaps she just turns into a zombie and infects all the survivors you have (or maybe haven’t!) saved! Anyway, having this little side mission was actually really interesting as you found yourself getting stressed about getting back to the safe room on time.

Despite all the good things, I do have to say that there was something totally cheesy and ridiculous about the game which kind of ruined it after a while. That is the absolute blatant sexism. Every woman you meet (apart from one) who has a point in the story is always scantily-clad and bending over all the time in front of Chuck who you can see clearly ogling whoevers arse, and the camera is often in close up of the woman’s arse or tits with some shots that are so CLEARLY put in on purpose that it is actually kind of embarrassing. Not to mention the two women who act like they’re lesbians but NO! They are actually sisters!¬† Also, you can save three survivors who are clearly prostitutes…….. because I’m sure they get a lot of business at a busy shopping mall :-/

Apart from that, I fucking LOVED the game and would definitely play it again and kill all the survivors instead as there is more than one ending which depends on your actions throughout the game. Cruel I know, but I think that games with multiple endings are great because it gives you the chance to play them again without being bored. So that’s what I’m going to do……. by killing the survivors :)

After “Dead Rising 2″ my boyfriend encouraged me to try “Left 4 Dead”, starting with the first game and just playing with my boyfriend only, not online. I’m used to playing games on a console so it was a new experience for me to play on the PC and I am pretty much shit. At first I was hitting hardly anything and pretty much shat myself whenever a “Hunter” was around and even more so when we came across that fucking witch! But the worse for me was the “Tank”…… whenever the music started and that fucking thing came towards me I would scream and run away and leave my boyfriend to deal with it! Even today I can’t say I’m much better at the game but I really love playing it!

One of the worst levels for me was “No Mercy”. When you finally get on the roof to await the helicopter you have to fend off a constant attack of the infected and at least 3 fucking tanks! My boyfriend, stressed in the moment, was screaming at me to “GO THERE!” when the first “Tank” arrived, which meant absolutely fucking NOTHING seeing as we were playing on separate computers and I managed JUST to escape it by jumping out of a window! I don’t know what happened when the second arrived, but when the third came I was punched and flew far away onto another roof. I then proceeded to scream to my boyfriend that ” I DON’T KNOW WHERE I AM!” and he had to coax me down whilst trying to kill the last “Tank”. As there was only him and I left and the helicopter was arriving my boyfriend decided to *sacrifice* himself to save me and told me where to go. Bear in mind that I was new to the game, I climbed a ladder and once at the top started running for the helicopter, hitting any infected that came near me! I was SHITE at jumping in the game and I had images of jumping onto the helicopter only to fall out the other side! So I ran, jumped and……. landed on it!!! About 2 seconds before it left!! It seems that the stress of being alone and chased by hundreds of fucking zombies helped me to use my controls properly! Next level, back to being shit as ever!

After that, I tried “Left 4 Dead 2″. I know there was a lot of controversy about this one, but personally I like the new characters and new maps, especially “Dark Carnival”, not to mention the new kinds of infected, which are “The Charger”, “Spitter” and “Jockey”. As there are so many infected, some work better on some maps whilst some are better on others. There are times when the “Jockey” isn’t really helpful, but other times, if there is just one survivor left standing on his way to save another, the “Jockey” is perfect to steal him away and win the game! I’m pretty much addicted to playing the game online now on versus mode as I love being the infected and trying to prevent the other team from winning!! I think it’s harder to play as a survivor on versus mode too, as you are up against real people who are far more cunning and logical than the computer. It really creates a challenge to try and survive which is what the game is about!

The downside I find to the “Left 4 Dead” games however is how easily people can be kicked. Everytime I play there is always someone trying to kick others who, as far as I could tell, hadn’t done anything to warrant it. I have even been kicked a few times and I hadn’t done anything wrong at all. Maybe it’s because sometimes your team is waiting for someone else they know to join, but in this case then it’s a fucking joke. If they want to play with their friends then that’s what LAN is for! Other than that, I just don’t get it. Once I had the best score as an infected and got kicked, once I got kicked after just joining a game and I know I don’t do anything to deserve it as I like to get along with my team :) Even if it’s not me it’s often someone else getting kicked. It’s sad because it is so easy to kick someone without good reason and it makes it a frustrating and unenjoyable experience for someone like me who gets kicked for nothing and who just wants to play the game. Also, the ones who kick are always cowards who never want to answer you when you ask why you were kicked. Sometimes people are even abusive and other times people kick others just because they think they are a “noob” which is just ridiculous and stupid as the person who started the kick would still be a fucking “noob” unless the people he first played with online had been nice enough to help him. It would be better if there was some way to monitor or change the “kick” process as it’s just unbelievable and annoying sometimes and really easy to abuse, but I wouldn’t have a clue how that would work so I can just dream!

Finally, the last game I’m going to talk about is “Resident Evil: Code Veronica”. I’m sure you were expecting me to talk about one of the newer games but really I just need to vent a little because this one is really pissing me off!! My boyfriend and I started it LAST YEAR as he owned it but had never got around to playing it and as I like the games I was happy to watch and enjoy the story. Well, I can’t really criticise the story at all as it’s really in-depth and intriguing. Also, it was really great to play as both Claire and Chris Redfield as you have to swap between characters and various points in the game. The game itself is incredibly LONG, with my boyfriend and I thinking it was “The End” on several occasions only to realise that it was, indeed, FAR FROM the end! And during this LONG game we are joined by “Steve Burnside”, the most annoying, unhelpful, irritating prick that ever appeared in a “Resident Evil” game. Whenever he appears you know everything is about to go in the fucking shitter! First, he won’t kill his “turned-zombie” father, which, ok, I guess we can forgive him for. But then when we are attacked by some prisoner who has turned into some mutated, creepy, zombie-thing, Steve gets himself knocked out so we have to fight it alone. Then, when flying the plane out of “Rockfort Island” he leaves us to try and kill the huge boss that joined us on the plane and is pretty much impossible to fucking kill! Actually, he spends most of the time saying “Let’s split up!” and then when he returns he tells that somehow he fucked something up and that we need to fix it whilst he goes off somewhere to do something which we never seem to know about! He was just a fucking burden!

Anyway, my boyfriend and I are right at the end and we just can’t do it! The thing is, once Claire and Chris are seperated for what may be the last time (not sure as we haven’t finished it!) and we are Claire again, you have to spend 15 minutes fucking around before you even find Steve. There is no health around before you find him, so unless you have some health inside a supply box-thing then you are fucked and cannot beat Steve! My boyfriend and I found out the hard way and had to go back in the game and change what we did to be sure we had life to beat Steve!! Anyway, when you find Steve you see that he has been injected with the “T-Veronica” virus, is now mutated and decides to come running after us to kill us. After escaping Steve (and he dies!) we go back to being Chris. Wesker leaves us to fight Alexia Ashford alone who is so fucking hard to beat. She spreads fire all over the place and if she touches you just once you die!! Seeing as you have little room to move because of the fire it becomes nearly impossible to avoid her as she walks towards you. There is no health around and if you don’t have any on you then you’re pretty much fucked, just as we are! And there is no save point from the moment we were Claire until now, so if you die fighting Alexia you go back to when you were Claire and have to do the 15 minutes before finding Steve again and then have to kill him again before becoming Chris to try beating Alexia again!! And if you want to go back in the game to try and save health then you have to go back a long way. The level as Chris before we became Claire was incredibly hard hence the reason we have no health and of course it means doing the whole Steve shit AGAIN! I mean, I hated Steve so I enjoyed watching him die but not 3, 4, or even 5 times in a row! And it wouldn’t be so bad if you could save after Steve dies before you become Chris, but the only save is 15 minutes before Claire finds Steve and it is boring repeating that section of the game over and over again!! Sometimes it’s so annoying I want to smash the fucking game up!! Even my boyfriend wants to give up which is unlike him as he is always determine to finish any games he plays.

Anyway, rant over!! I think I’ve talked enough about zombies for today so I’m going to go kill some survivors on “Left 4 Dead 2″. Hey, if you can’t beat ‘em, kill ‘em! :) (NOT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY, OBVIOUSLY!!) :)