March 10

Obviously as I am writing an article about LOST now you can see that I am a latecomer to the show. But thanks to Kate and Juliet I wish I’d been so late I’d never arrived.

I avoided LOST until now because I remember hearing a lot of bad things about it. People were complaining that things weren’t getting explained in the show and that there were a number of plot holes. Because of this I didn’t want to start watching the show as I’m the sort of person that once started, I have to finish and I didn’t want to start watching something that would only serve to piss me off. But, as I’m sure you know, when you’re in a long term relationship you do things for your other half that you wouldn’t normally do. We like to think it’s out of love but really it’s just so that we can inflict something equally irritating on them at a later date.

Anyway, a month or so ago he mentioned watching it and I reluctantly agreed after avoiding the show for all these years. I need to say now that I haven’t finished the show yet (am watching season 5 at the moment) so I’m asking you all not to spoil the end for me. However, as a ‘just in case’, my boyfriend will be checking the comments as he wouldn’t want anyone to spoil it for me. Bless him! If anyone hasn’t watched LOST but wants to, don’t read this as it’s full of SPOILERS!

I want to say now that I don’t dislike the show. In fact, I LOVE Desmond and Sayid and I DID love Charlie and Mr.Eko until they were killed off. Bastards. Oh, and I’m a big fan of Jin too. But Kate and Juliet annoy me so much I don’t even know how to express it in words. Well, other than in curse words. I am aware that Kate has quite a fanbase, fuck knows why, so certain people may not like this article. In that case, close the page now because you’re not going to like what’s to come! But I like to think that there are some out there that find Kate and Juliet to be incredibly annoying characters. So if you’re one of them, stick around! :-)

So let’s start with Kate. Kate gets on my nerves for a number of reasons, with one of the main reasons being that she is like this throughout most of the TV show:

 

There's always a problem....

There’s always a problem….

Everything is a drama for Kate and most of the time it’s a problem that she’s either created herself or is exaggerating for attention, I imagine. I’m not saying I don’t feel a bit sorry for her. Her step dad abused her mum and when she killed him to protect her, her own mother turned on her. That is sad. But she also caused the death of her old childhood sweetheart. I understand not wanting to go to prison but she must have known that it was only a matter of time before she was caught. She started dragging others into her mess and then the poor guy died. In fact, that’s all she ever seems to do. She flirts with guys so they’re interested and then gets them in all kinds of shit. I remember when she found the toy plane that her and her childhood sweetheart had buried in a box under a tree. When Jack asked her about it she said, pulling a face like in the picture above, ‘you wouldn’t understand!’ You’re right Kate! No one would understand what it’s like to lose somone they love…. oh wait! Most people do actually! And at this point Jack knew she was a fugitive so I don’t think it would be hard to understand that she feels guilty as she caused this guy’s death when she was on the run. But no, Kate is the only one who’s ever felt a loss like that. Of course.

This isn’t the first time she’s done this either, and to name them all would take me forever, but here’s another example. When she decides to go back to the island with Jack and the rest of the Oceanic Six and Jack asks what’s happened to Aaron and she says she’ll come if he never asks her that again. WHAT! As my boyfriend said the other night she could have killed the kid for all we know! And it’s Jack’s nephew so he has every right to know what she did with him! It might be hard to talk about but it’s a kid, not a dog! It’s normal to want to know where he disappeared to. But of course she can’t tell him as then she’d be like normal people and she just wants him to fuss and worry about her.

Kate realised she hadn't had any attention for a long time

Kate realised she hadn’t had any attention for a long time

Aside from this, she’s always so dramatic. She always looks like she’s worried about something. In fact, she’s like that so much that when she smiles it looks wrong! On top of that, I feel like she cries in random places, like when Jack had his appendix out. She didn’t seem to cry that much when she found out Charlie was dead, but when Jack is having an operation which Bernard and Juliet seemed confident about, she starts crying like a fucking baby! It’s like she realised that the attention would be on Jack for a while so she had to create a fuss so people felt sorry for her. I’d feel more bad for Jack in that moment! Just shut up and piss off….

Also, it annoys me that she always has to be involved in what’s going on. Most of the other characters, Hurley or Charlie, had adventures here and there and when they weren’t doing that, they were working on things at the camp. Not Kate. Whenever it was necessary for the camp to enter the jungle, be it to find or water or for other reasons, she’d always have to go. She’d also always manage to overhear when others were talking about going on secret missions so they’d be forced to take her. I swear that when she’s at the camp she just hides behind peoples tents earwigging and then when she hears them talk about a mission in the jungle she pops round the corner like she just happened to arrive there by chance at the right moment to say ‘I’m coming with you.’ Because the island is huge yet she’d always be there at the right moment! And even if they told her not to come she’d just follow them secretly in the jungle. By doing this she lost a load of weapons to the Others and stopped Jack and Sawyer finding Michael as they took her hostage and used her to get Jack to leave the weapons and go back to their camp. I was like ‘FOR FUCK SAKE YOU STUPID BITCH!!!!’ But yeah, heaven forbid someone as important as her is left out of a group outing.

I wonder what the issue is now?

I wonder what the issue is now?

Another thing that annoyed me is how the writers seemed to make her the expert of everything! Picking up a trail? Yeah, she can do that. (I think there was a reason for that but I don’t remember it). She was able to fix the electricity (or something like that) in the hatch. Totally unrelated skills, but somehow she’s great in both. She could play golf like a pro and was way better than the other survivors. There were other things like this, but I don’t remember them exactly. The point was, with everyone else, they had areas they would be good and bad at. Sayid is great with technology and torturing people! Michael was good at construction. Jack is a doctor, and so on. Yet Kate seems to be an expert at everything! As soon as a problem occurs, she knows how to fix it. Like I said, they need to pick up a trail? Oh yeah; she can do that! Electricity is fucked? Just get Kate! Seriously?!! What would be realistic is if Sawyer or Jack need to die. Then seriously, just get Kate to suck them in to her little world of drama and self-obession and voila! They’d be dead in no time! Because if there’s anything Kate can do, it’s get people into a world of shit by trying to ‘save her.’

My final gripe with Kate is how she treats Jack and Sawyer. I’m a woman, but women like this annoy me. That’s not to say the men are not to blame for their suffering too. It should be pretty obvious to all of them that she only cares about herself and getting attention from as many people, especially men, as she can. If they can’t see that, they deserve what they get. Still, it doesn’t make it right what she does. First she’s flirting with Jack, then she’s flirting with Sawyer. Then she kisses Sawyer to get information out of him but clearly loves it. Then she kisses Jack and then does all that annoying, dramatic, woman shit of turning away and running off like it’s a mistake. At this point, she knows they both like her. So when locked in a cage with Sawyer she shags him, telling one of the Others that she loves Sawyer to stop them beating him up. When Sawyer asks if she really loves him, her answer isn’t clear. When they can escape, she makes it obvious to Sawyer that she is devastated to leave Jack behind. When Jack comes back with Juliet and they’re getting along she’s jealous. Even more so when she realises that Jack saw her in the cage with Sawyer, something she clearly wished Jack had never seen. So what does she do? She goes and fucks Sawyer. Even Sawyer calls her out on this at some point. Basically, she wants them both and when she’s shagging one she doesn’t want the other to move on to someone else, but just sit around pining over her. NO BITCH! CHOOSE! Jack or Sawyer! What she’s doing is cruel, but of course she doesn’t care. As long as she is getting attention, fuck everyone else. Even when she’s off the island with Jack she’s doing favours for Sawyer behind Jack’s back, lying to him about where she’s going! NO! Her priority should be to Jack and she should have told him what she was doing. It’s just another example of how all she cares about is herself.

And just in case my moaning doesn’t convince you, here is her history with men represented in photos!:

1

2

3

4

Oh god, I have to mention one last thing! At one point she gives Sawyer advice, saying ‘from one outcast to another.’ Hang the fuck on a minute! I don’t see how she could possible be an outcast when everyone loved her and she went on nearly every single mission into the jungle with everyone else! If she’s an outcast then she’s the most socially-accepted and loved outcast I’ve ever known!

 

Kate was annoyed that the old guy wasn't interested

Kate was annoyed that the old guy wasn’t interested

So now onto my issues with Juliet.

The main issue, is her face. And by that, I don’t mean she’s ugly. I mean it looks like it’s frozen. She couldn’t have any less of a personality if she tried. Her eyes are dead. In fact, like Kate, on the rare times she has smiled or cried her face looks wrong. She has the exact same expression on her face whether she’s angry, happy, sad, confused! And she always talks in that monotonous, patronising voice, like she is so intelligent and everyone else is so thick that she has to talk to them like they’re a partially deaf  3 year old. Juliet, just fuck off!

Juliet happy

Juliet happy

Juliet sad

Juliet sad

Juliet angry

Juliet angry

Juliet confused

Juliet confused

Well, you get my point! Either she’s a terrible actress or the writers wrote her to be an emotionless, arrogant bitch. Whatever the reason, her frozen face pisses me off whenever I see it.

Not only that, but apart from the couple of episodes based on her, we really don’t know much about her! She’s a fertility doctor, her sister had cancer and she was brought to the island by Richard. That’s all we know of her (up until season 5 at least) from her time off the island. It’s not a lot really! In fact, I think we probably knew more about Nikki and Paulo, the 2 randomly introduced characters in season 3! Apart from Jack, I imagine the other survivors know NOTHING about her as she has always refused to tell them anything. Whenever anyone asked her, Jack would either intervene or she’d look at them with her blank face like she doesn’t understand English and change the subject. And what annoys me is that everyone is ok with this! They’ve been ok with her living in their camp and eating their food, someone who was an Other, who kept Jack, Kate and Sawyer prisoner, and refuses to say anything about herself! I’d be like ‘tell me who you are, what the Others want and are doing and how you got here.’ If she didn’t want to answer, ‘fuck off then!’ Why look after someone you can’t trust. Even in season 5 we don’t know that much about what she’d been up to on the island.  And I know perhaps they wanted to make her mysterious but at some point she has to tell you something! Plus let’s not forget all the lies she’s told.

So true!

So true!

Also, when did she become fine about abduction and murder!! Oh, and stealing other people’s children! In the few flashbacks we have of her off the island, she’d seemed like a normal person. She looked after and loved her sister. She was pretty much like the rest of us. Then she goes to the island and is obviously upset to see what happens to pregnant women. Then Ben practically keeps her there when she clearly wants to leave. Well, I say clearly because she told us. It’s not like her face gave it away! So at what point did abducting people and children and killing people become normal to her. Because if Ben said to me ‘we’re abducting some of the survivors, can you bring this one lunch and help me manipulate him’ I’d say, ‘hold your horses mate! WHAT?!’ Yet it seems normal to her! And yeah, she could have been corrupted by Ben or any other reason but I need to see it! Because you can’t just show me someone and make them out to be normal only to have them happily bringing the abducted person lunch like everything’s fine and they’ve popped round for fucking tea! I mean, when Kate attacks her to try and escape, Juliet is hurt (as much as her face will allow) and says ‘I was only bringing you a sandwich.’ I don’t think it was the sandwich that offended her Juliet!

Also, I love how in the 5th season she’s always asking Daniel what’s going on. It’s a bit rich from someone who hasn’t really told anyone what the fuck’s going on since she arrived in the show!

Anyway, I need to stop this rant as this post has gone on for long enough! I hope you can understand why Kate and Juliet annoy me so much and why I really wouldn’t shed a tear if either of them got killed off in the show.

I want to thank my boyfriend for finding the hilarious photos I used in this post! I wasn’t allowed to find them myself in case I saw a spoiler about the end but I think he did a good job. But what are geeks for, eh? And to finish on a happier note, here are a couple of other amusing LOST pictures. Enjoy! :-)

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